The Necessary.

We're really alive!  Finger still intact, though angry as can be when required to type, hence the lack of posts.  It turns out pointer fingers are super useful.  I'll definitely appreciate mine more in the future.  

Although I haven't been able to type it out, my brain has been spinning a mile a minute since we landed back on US soil.  The trip was so good.  When people ask the question "How was your trip?" I say "Good, and necessary."  It was oh so necessary, in ways we couldn't have anticipated before going.  I thought it would be necessary in the scheme of houses, visas, and job descriptions, and while all those things were discussed and worked on, they aren't the necessary I'm talking about.  This trip was another leg in the Journey of Learning to Say Yes.  

Kiev was great.  Super fun, great connections, awesome time with old friends- going deeper and getting stronger.  Kiev was comfy, cozy, and superb.  

Zhitomir was good too...and Zhitomir was reality.  Necessary reality.  

We LOVE Mission to Ukraine (MTU).  We love the staff, we love the vision, we love the people being served.  We are more excited than ever to join them in their ministry.  Jed could be busy there 24/7.  His professional skills are so right on for the areas they have need.  My heart was bursting to think of how I get to help and how our kids get to be involved and learn to serve.  We are totally and completely more excited than ever for MTU.  YAY!

Honestly though, I struggled in Zhitomir.  Nothing personal to the city or the people, I was struggling with doubt, fear, worry as we walked the streets of Zhitomir, and it was all personal to me.  

"What are we doing???  This is crazy."

"Our lives are PERFECT right now and we're leaving it all for the unknown.  Why???"

"We're taking our kids away from their cousins, their friends, their church.  They're going to hate us!"

And on, and on, and on.  Being the verbal processor that I am, Jed got quite the earful.  THIS was the necessary of this trip I wasn't expecting.  I had to come around to the fact that although our life right now is the absolute best it's ever been, the biggest reason for that is because we are smack dab in the will of God.  Yes, there will be challenges about moving to Ukraine.  No, it will not be easy. Yes, there are some major sacrifices, but it will be the best because we will be smack dab in the will of our Loving Father.  After I got over myself and the lies, fear, doubt, blah blah blah, I could truly enjoy our time in Zhitomir.  

Look how far The Lord has brought us!  Oh my, the joy in the journey really increases when you die to yourself a bit more. Ha!

Today my kids and their friend Milaey decided to pick various herbs and plants from the yard and set up a stand on the porch to sell to passerby's.  Great idea, except for the fact that we live on an extremely quiet, out of the way street.  People don't just meander down our street for the fun of it. It's almost like a ghost town, except for us. :)  I didn't want to discourage them, so I just warned them it might be a bit hard to get customers, but they were welcome to try!  

They set to work gathering, pricing, making signs.  Soon they were out on the corner yelling to the empty street about their wares.  "We've got carrots, we've got herbs, we've got stuff to make your house smell good!"  They chanted over and over, then cheered like crazy when a random car would drive by every 7 minutes or so.  

After a bit they came in, discouraged at the lack of business.  Then Milaey suggested they pray and ask God to bring them a customer.  I certainly didn't have the faith I should have had (hehe), but was so proud of Milaey for suggesting it!  They prayed, and I kid you not, like 5 minutes later a car stopped at the sale!  A random lady got out and said "I never drive on this street, but I thought I'd try a shortcut today."  Seriously???  The kids were FREAKING OUT.  They hovered, they talked up their goods, and the kindest lady in town walked away with a ziplock baggie full of hedge trimmings.  God is so faithful.  He cares about what's important to us.  

I got to talk with the kids about the goodness of God, they were thankful, elated, and back to sign-holding and chanting.  Guess what?  Not one other car stopped the rest of the day.  Addy and Ezra came inside an hour later crying (sobbing) about their "failure sale".  

"Why did no one come?  It was important to us and no one cared!"

How quickly they forgot the Lord's provision.  How quickly they forgot the joy in the answered prayer, the delight in His care for them.  He provided a miraculous customer right when they asked!

Yep, that was me in Zhitomir.  Totally forgetting what God did earlier.  Totally feeling forgotten, wondering if God cared.  Seriously?????  He's done AMAZING things.  He's gone above and beyond for our family to pave the way and make it straight.  Seriously.  Once I got my head and heart on straight, stopped looking at the "yikes" and looking at all He has done and promises TO DO things got a whoooooooole lot better.  

Lesson learned for me, and the kids.

 

Next post will be more details about our time in Zhitomir.  Many of you have been asking and I'm sooooo sorry for the delay.  I blame it on my immersion blender skills (or lack thereof).

Dancing, In-Betweening, Potty-Training, Eating, and Such

* My kids are in love with the song "Dynamite".  They request it every single morning and every single afternoon.  I've gotta admit their dance moves are pretty sweet.  

A sampling of the sweetness

* Yesterday was a hard day.  Being "in-between" stinks.  

• We are not in Ukraine, but sometimes I feel like we're not really here either.  
• We are focused on preparing for our life there, but still trying to truly live our life here.  
• We're not saying goodbye yet, but know we will soon...how do you navigate that?
• We want to be fully engaged with our church body here, yet we have to start handing off some of our responsibilities, and we're spending more weekends away speaking at other places.  How do we navigate that?  How can you be fully present...when you aren't present?  Ha!
• It's all very tricky and I have no idea how to transition well.  One step at a time, right?  One obedience at a time.  We say YES Lord to being fully present to what you call us to today.  

* I'm potty-training Seth.  He gets an M&M every time he goes potty on the toilet.  Good news?  We're quickly running out of our M&M stash.  He gets a popsicle every time he poops on the toilet.  Bad news?  We haven't really made a dent in our popsicle stash.  You do the math.  Then come over and help me do laundry.  Thanks. 

I guess he felt left out of the glasses club

* The Marr family, who is adopting Alexei, one of our Lost Boys, is traveling in 2 days!  Knowing that they're heading to the place we love so very much brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.  Please pray for the Marrs!  They are bringing light where it is needed so badly.  Woohoo!

* I'll be in Ukraine in 20 days.  I can't wait!!!!  I wonder what it will feel like to be there this time, knowing it's our future home?  Hmmmm....

* I'm excited to eat Ukrainian food in 20 days. Bring.It.On.

Yum.

*After such a rough day yesterday, today has been awesome.  God is so faithful to give us just what we need, just when we need it.  Today I woke up remembering a word that was spoken over us at the very beginning of this journey:

 "It is your joy to partner with God in this."  

When did I forget that?  It is my complete and utter joy to partner with Him!  It is my JOY!!!!!   Next time I start focusing on the struggle and stop focusing on the joy, feel free to dump cold water on my head, or whatever it takes to stop the whining.  Seriously.  The enemy is lame, and defeated.  Jesus wins the day. 

The end.  

Readying the Troops

 

Preparing to move overseas is quite the task.  It's such a big task that we really have no idea how to tackle it.  Day by day, we just do the next thing that is in front of us- praying that when moving day comes along we'll be as ready as can be.  I'm not necessarily talking about packing and all that (although I have no idea what I'm doing in that area either), more about preparing our hearts and minds for how our lives are going to change. 

When we very first started this process some very wise missionaries told us to do whatever we could to prepare our hearts and lives while we are still here in the US.  "Get your marriage right, work on those selfish areas in your heart, help prepare your kids' hearts".  Basically we were encouraged to do whatever we can do NOW while we are in a familiar situation and we have a great church and tons of friends and family around who love us.  Because although we will still have loads of rough edges to smooth off when we get to Ukraine, it's in our best interest to allow the Lord to do some of the smoothing ahead of time.  Lord knows things will get a lot rougher in some areas once we get there!  Ha! 

Lately I've been thinking more about how to prepare our kids for this major life change.  I want to be intentional about preparations with them, because otherwise I know it simply won't happen.  I know myself.  :)  Like back in February when we first spoke at a church to share the vision, we were on our way to the church and I finally thought to look back at the kids and ask them if they understood what we were doing that day.  Addy understood, but Havalah and Ezra were unsure (Seth was just along for the snacks- as usual).  It was in that moment that I realized that although they are absorbing a lot just by living in the same house and hearing conversations, we must intentionally talk with them all through this process so their little hearts aren't left behind.

Here are some things we have started doing to help our kiddos along this journey.  I'm writing them down partially to keep myself accountable, and partially to encourage other parents to be intentional with your kiddos.  We can't assume our kids will learn what we want them to know about faith and their walk with Jesus by osmosis.  We have to have intentional conversations.  I am sure a work in progress in this area, so I don't claim to be an expert of any kind!  But, you never know who needs to be reminded of that truth.  So here ya go!

Language Study
I started including Addy, Ezra, and Havalah in my language study.  Duh.  That should have been a no-brainer, but I honestly was waiting to find the perfect "kid" language curriculum for them.  Instead I finally realized that I started at square one and they can just join me where I'm at!  Some knowledge of the language is better than none at all.  We study Monday-Friday for maybe 25 minutes or so, and then I let them go play while I do a bit more.  THEY LOVE IT. They are such smarties too!  Addy has an awesome memory and Ezra has a great ear for the language.  It's funny the words that stick out to them.  I'm not sure how helpful it will be to know "cockroach" and "frog" in Russian, but they've got those ones down perfectly!  :)

We use Transparent Russian for our language study.  We bought it many months ago and chose Russian over Ukrainian because the part of the country we ultimately would love to end up in is mostly Russian-speaking, and our tutor we had hired was a native Russian speaker.  Now I wonder if we made the right decision, but ah well.  I think either one is a great start.  The complete program isn't available in Ukrainian anyway, so it is what it is.  :)

Transparent has grammar study, audio helps, and an awesome vocab-building tool called "Byki".  Byki is the only part I use with the kids.  We study our computer flashcards and play little games with the words we've learned.  They are seeing the words, hearing the words, and saying the words.  It seems like the language study has given them more ownership in this process and I love that more than anything. 


Sharing
We've been lining up speaking engagements at different churches and small groups and have been wondering how to involve our kids more in that process.  Yesterday we had a great answer to prayer in that area!  The kids and I were invited to share about Ukraine at chapel for a local Christian school where my mom is a teacher.  It is missions week for the school, so every day they are learning about different countries and the work being done there.  We opened up the week by sharing about Ukraine.  Addy and Ez helped me prepare the lesson and even shared part of it with the kids!  I was so very proud of them!!! 

Ezra and Havalah...ha!

 Addy talked about where Ukraine is located, what kind of foods are popular there, what the homes are like, and showed pictures of the capital and important monuments. 

Ezra talked about language learning, showed a picture of the Cyrillic alphabet and talked about the sound differences and shared some words he's learned.

 Havalah had planned to show her nesting doll, but got nervous...I pretty much knew that would happen!  Ha! I could see how proud they were to share about Ukraine and it made my heart glad.  I think this was a big leap toward them taking ownership of this mission.  We were very thankful for the opportunity to share with other children!

Prayer and Discussion
Ever since we first learned about the need in Ukraine we have included the kids in prayer for the people of Ukraine. 

Our sweetie, Heath.  Still waiting!  Hint hint

And Hanson, where is your Mommy?

And Porter, we love you sweet baby boy.  Praying every day!!

  There have been seasons when we have been more faithful in that than others, but over all it's been a constant in our family prayers.  The kids have certain orphans they pray for super faithfully, and most of those children have been, or are being adopted!  

My sweet Aiden has a family!

Our love Sasha has a family!

SAMUEL!!!!!  Has a family!!

 That has been a great faith-builder for them!  Now I'm seeing we need to start expanding our prayer time with them to include the caregivers, other believers in Ukraine, and the people we're going to meet and grow to love there.  I want to start praying with them that God will provide them with friends they can love and enjoy life with.  Addy and Ez are particularly nervous that they "won't have any friends".  I know it's not God's heart for them- so it's time to start praying and believing that He will provide friends.


Sometimes I get nervous and think "What are we doing? Are we ruining our kids' lives by taking them away from friends and family??"  But then I think back to all the words God has spoken to our family along this process.  This move is something He has called our whole family to- not just Jed and me.  Life in Ukraine is something He is preparing for our whole family.  When our loving Father created Adelina, Ezra, Havalah, and Seth He knew what life He was creating them for.  He knows how this will grow them and make them into the men and women He has designed them to be.  When I was pregnant with Addy a word was spoken that "This baby will be a bridge to people who don't know Jesus".  I am so excited to watch God fulfill that through Addy.  I can't wait to watch each of our kids blossom and come even more alive as we walk into the destiny God has created for every.single.one. of us. 

  

Addy's View

I can't believe I'm the parent of a 9-year old.  How did that happen?  In my mind my age has been permanently stuck at 26.  If people ask how old I am, my brain automatically thinks "26".  Weird.  I haven't actually been 26 for 7 years. Although I can't believe Addy's 9, I also can't quite remember living life without being a mom.  It's funny how 9 years of diapers and lack of sleep can wipe out any memories of my former childless life.  

Anyway, my baby, Addy, just turned 9 last week.  We celebrated with a sleepover, cupcakes, spontaneous dance parties, popcorn, pizza, giggles, and not much sleep.  It was perfect.  

Our firstborn is pure joy.  She's our learning curve into parenting.  She's our trial by error.  She's my mini-me, minus the worry about what others think.  I love that about my Addy.  

The past week or so, as I've been recovering from the shock that I have a 9-year old, God's been speaking to me a lot about parenting and intentionality.  I have so many thoughts swirling in my brain about preparing our kids for our move, and being present with our kids in general.  There's a blog post brewing about our kids and parenting...but it will take me a while to get my thoughts in a presentable order. 

In the mean time, here's a glimpse of the world from my Addy's point of view.  Addy got a camera from my parents for her birthday.  She loves it, and I love seeing the pictures she takes.  It's fun to see what catches her eye, what she considers picture-worthy.   

Take a look at Addy's world :)

Self-Portrait

Ezra Pezra

I just LOVE this one...hehe

 

Heading out for a walk...

Race to Mommy!!

Ready, set, go!!!

RUN RUN RUN!!!!

Ezra says he didn't push Seth- I think the evidence says otherwise

Poor Seth  :)

Fancy pants panorama

Christmas!!!

Christmas was absolutely fabulous.  So much love, so much fun, so much family, so much yummy food, so many Legos.  My heart is full.  We are the most blessed people EVER.  

This Christmas was all about thankfulness.
I'm thankful that God knows what He's doing and His plans are better than our best ideas.
I'm so thankful for my so-wonderful-I-totally-don't-deserve-him Jed.  He blesses my socks off every.single.day.
I'm beyond thankful for my 4 blessings asleep in their beds. I'm also thankful they're finally asleep!  My kids are overflowing with joy.  They are pretty easily amused, so Christmas with them is like one big screamfest (in a good way!).
I'm thankful for loving friends God has gifted to us.  Blessed.
I'm very, very thankful for my wonderful family.  Days full of time with family make my heart sing.
I'm thankful for God's never ending, unstoppable love.  When I think I know best and stubbornly run in my own direction, He lovingly guides me back to His path.  His goodness humbles me. 

Thanks God!  Thank you for your Son.  Thank you for your Love.

Merry Christmas (a little late- but better late than never) from our family to yours! 

I'm no photographer, but here's my attempt at a Christmas picture of our kiddos.  Maybe someday I'll be less of a procrastinator and will actually send out a Christmas card...maybe.  :)
Warning: picture overload ahead.  Proceed with caution.

CHEESE!!!!  Woah.  Simmer down on the flash Mommy!

Still a little bright, but better.  Seth kills me.  CUTE!

"YAY!!!!!"

"AUUUUUGGHHHHHHHH!!"

Oops.

"Make a sad face."

"Make a surprised face!"

"Make a silly face."

"Make an 'I love my Mommy' face."

"Make a puke face!"

"Make a grrrrr face."

"Make a fierce face."

I don't remember what this one was about...but look at Ezra!  Hahahaha!!

Make an 'I'm awesome' face!" (that one was Addy's idea)  :)

Touchdown!!!!

Now everyone wanted to cuddle Seth. BLURRY!

Peeking...

Brothers

Cuties

Tickling!

Seth's getting bored...

Cutest kids ever.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!