Good Gifts

"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  

He will take great delight in you, 

he will quiet you with his love, 

he will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

You know that feeling when you're about to surprise your kids with something they really love?  I don't know about you, but when I know I'm about to bring my kids joy I can hardly contain myself.  I get so excited, looking forward to their reaction- the squeals (or screams) of joy, the huge smiles, the knocking-over-with-force hugs.  The fun things in life are that much more fun when I get to watch my kids enjoy them.  I delight in my children.  Greatly.

Yesterday I learned that no matter if my kids are small or grown, that delight in watching their joy won't end.  The same with our God.  He delights in us, His kids.  He LOVES bringing us joy and giving us good gifts.

So, I'm here in Anaheim for the National Vineyard Conference.  When my dad heard I was heading to Anaheim for this thing and we would be arriving a couple days early, he asked the burning question, "Are you going to Disneyland?"  Well, if you know me at all you know that I absolutely ADORE Disneyland.  I can't even adequately describe to you my love for all things Disneyland.  I love everything about it.  It's my most favorite place ever.  But, we were just given a trip to Disneyland in March and we're trying to pinch every penny to save for our big move, so I didn't think I could justify spending the money for a day in Disneyland.  My dad, delighting in his grown-up daughter simply replied, "Oh, you're going to Disneyland!"  He said if I could find a way to get there he would pay my way to spend the day.  You should have seen the grin on his face when he saw my joy.  Dad's love giving good gifts to their kids.  

So, the question remained, "how would I get to Disneyland?"  I was coming to the conference with our pastor (Lanny), his wife (Anne), and their two grown daughters (Christen and Abby).  I knew I wouldn't have a car, so I would just have to wait and see if it worked out.  We arrived in Anaheim and realized the little condo we are staying in is literally RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET from Disneyland!!!!  Shut the front door!!!  Case closed.  Disneyland was definitely happening on Sunday.  (Plus the wifi password at the condo is "TO DISNEYLAND".  I took that as another sign.)  ;) 

On Saturday night as I prepared for Disney I was super excited, but a tad bummed that I was going by myself.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I could enjoy Disneyland alone- no problem.  But, I did realize it's much more fun to share your joy with someone else.  Annnnddddd the love of parents stepped in again.  Abby, Christen, and I were in the bedroom chatting and Anne walked in and asked the girls "Do you guys want to go to Disneyland with Kim in the morning?"  You should have seen the looks on their faces.  "Ummm OF COURSE!"  Anne let the girls know they would pay for them to go to Disneyland in the morning.  No matter what the age, parents love delighting in their children and giving them good gifts.  (I may, or may not have been jumping on the bed with joy...)

I know you might find it cheesy for me to use Disneyland to talk about the Father God's love for His kids, but if you do, you don't know me well enough, or understand the extent of my love for Disneyland.  :) When we were on Space Mountain I was just laughing- out loud!  I could not believe God gave me that opportunity before we head to Ukraine.  Before heading to Anaheim I actually had quite a bit of nervousness and anxiety about attending the conference.  I felt like "Who am I?  What business do I have attending this conference and chatting with other missions folks?  What makes me think they'll be interested in what we're doing?"  Well, Jed put me in my place about that.  He reminded me again that it's not about us or our abilities.  It's about obedience to The Lord.  All we have to do is say yes and tell our story.  The rest is up to Him!  This has never been about our abilities or lack thereof.  This is about what God is doing and His ability. 

When I was on Space Mountain I felt like God was saying, "Look at what I've given you today!  I am taking care of every single detail.  I love you and I love delighting in you and watching you laugh.  I delight just as much in my children in Ukraine in their cribs.  I'm their Father and I want to give them good gifts.  You don't worry.  No one will stand in my way.  I'm gonna give my babies good gifts and delight over them with singing- and I'm going to love every minute of it.  The joy you feel right now is just a glimpse of the joy that's on its way." Oh my word.  It brought me to tears.  I don't care how cheesy it sounds, God spoke to me on Space Mountain in a big way and I won't be the same.  

Today, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, know that YOUR Father in heaven delights in you.  He loves you.  He rejoices over you with singing.  Maybe things are rough for you.  Maybe you feel like you have nothing to be joyful about.  Maybe you think "Easy for you to say, Kim.  You don't know hardship!"  Maybe I don't know your hardship.  Maybe I've never experienced the pain you've experienced, but I've experienced the delight of the Father- and He is your Father too.   I know His Word is true.  If He can bring joy and delight to children wasting away in cribs, and He promises to do that, He can bring joy and delight to you.  Fix your eyes on Him and allow Him to father you.  This is not about your ability.  This is about God's ability and His great, never-stopping, overflowing, abounding love for you.  I see Him with a big ol' grin on His face.  That grin is for you just as much as it's for me.  

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." 

James 1:17

Our Baby

Our hearts are full to bursting!

My view from here

Our Wide Awake event happened on Friday night and I'm not sure I've stopped smiling since.  

Jed and I were talking afterward about how we felt.  The best way I could think to describe my feelings was like one of the feelings you get when you have your first baby.  Of course when Addy was born I thought she was the cutest newborn ever (don't even try to argue with me, I'll win).  But there was a special feeling that filled my heart when other peopled oooo'd and ahhhh'd over her.  I would think she was cute regardless of other opinions, but when other people loved my baby it felt like a different kind of amazing.  "They love my baby!  They think she's something special!"

That's totally how Friday night felt for us, x 100.  

Wide Awake is like our baby.  Wide Awake represents all the forgotten babies on the other side of the world who have captured our hearts.  Of course we think Wide Awake is something special (we better or else we have no business selling all our stuff and moving to Ukraine!), of course we think the plight of the disabled orphans is something big and important, of course we think those faces in our video and our powerpoint are beautiful and valuable, regardless of what others may think.  God put that love in our hearts!  It all comes from Him.

Perty yard

BUT, on Friday night people oooo'd and ahhhh'd over our babies.  People were loving our babies and it felt amazing.  "They love our baby!  They think it's something special!"  :)

When you see people valuing what you value it brings hope.

When you see people sharing your event with all their friends and asking thoughtful questions you feel thankful.  

When you see people driving 3 hours because they love you and they are excited about what God is doing it makes you cry.

We had a fantastic turnout on Friday and we could not be more humbled and thankful.  

Thank you a million times over to every single person who came!

Thank you to those who invited a friend!

Thank you to those of you who gave generously of your time to drive over mountains to get there.

Thank you to those who gave generous donations!  Blown away.  Woohooooooo!

God is so faithful.  His love NEVER fails.  

Happy Father's Day to Jed!  He is seriously amazing.  Yes, I'm biased, and yes, I'm right.

Pass the Tissues...

So last night I laid in bed awake till almost 1:00am with a brain that wouldn't shut off.  What was I thinking about, you ask?

-What will we do tomorrow?

-I have to take advantage of every moment.  What if none of my contact hopes works out for tomorrow?  Will it be a "wasted" day?

-Is Mission to Ukraine (MTU) expecting me to come in tomorrow?  Hmmm...I better check in with them first thing.

-There sure are a lot dogs barking.  Kinda makes me feel like I'm in Kosovo.  :)

-I hope Jed gets to Zhitomir okay on Thursday.  He won't have a phone...how will I know when to meet him at the city center?

-How will I fit all my kids on the tiny marshrutkas they have here in Zhitomir?

-I kind of wish I had ice cream right now. 

-How will my kids make friends here? 

-Will we be lonely? 

-What will we do tomorrow?????  Surely God has a plan, right?

Yeah, my mind was spinning and I was kind of worrying...about everything.  People tell me all the time that they could never do what we are doing, or getting ready to do.  How do we do it?  How are we so brave?  Hahahahaha!  Now you see.  :)  We are nothing special.  Sometimes we look like deer in headlights.  We cry (well, not so much "we", more "me"). We fret.  We keep ourselves awake worrying about things we can't do anything about.  But, in the end we just put one foot in front of the other and praise God He's not afraid to use cracked, imperfect vessels like you and me to be His hands and feet.    

It kind of reminds me of our time fostering.  People would always say they could never foster; that it would be too hard to let the babies go after you start to get attached.  Let me tell ya, it was too hard.  It was impossibly hard.  But, God called us to it and He gave us grace for what He called us to.  It doesn't mean it didn't hurt like crazy.  It doesn't mean we didn't ever cry ourselves to sleep at night because of the heartache.  It just means that when He calls you HE gives you every single thing you need to accomplish His purposes.  And because of that I would do it all over again in a second.  

This is scary.  This is wonderful.  This is exciting.  But trust me; we are not anything special.  Talk to our close friends and family.  Pass the tissues, 'cause we all got issues.  We worry about all the same things you would worry about if you were in our shoes, but we know He will give us every single thing we need to accomplish His purposes.  We just need reminders of that every 5 minutes or so.

That truth is not only for us!  I don't know who all is reading this, but I know that God wants to remind someone about this truth today.  

He is enough.  He will make the way.  He will smooth the path.  His word does what it sets out to accomplish.  He doesn't expect you to be super strong or super brave or even a little bit perfect.  He asks you to be willing, and the rest is up to Him.

Step out!  Act on the dreams God has planted in your heart.  Tell Him you are willing and watch what He does.  Don't let fear hold you back.  Love fully.  Live fully.  Trust.  (I'm preaching to myself today too!)  

Isaiah 55:10-13 rocks my world: 

"For your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares The Lord.

As the heavens are higher than then the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." 

Oh, but it gets better.  Listen to what happens when we trust!  This is the best:

"You will go out in joy and be led out in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands.  

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree (Ha!!!  Yesssss!) and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.  

This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed," 

It is my joy; it is your joy to partner with The Lord in His work.
Trees clapping, hills singing...bring it. 

It was sunny, but consider yourself winked at.  :)

100

Welcome to Post #100 for our wee little blog!!!

Hmmmm...what to do to celebrate the 100th post?  What I really need to do is write about money.  But, I don't want to do that for post 100.  You'll have to stay tuned for the big money post.  :)  Watch out, it's a'comin'!

The other day I was feeling all inspired to write about building altars in remembrance for all God has done on this journey, but at the end of the day when I sat down to write I just wasn't feelin' it.  The post was getting waaaaaay too long because God has just done waaaaaay too much.  I realize that's a very good thing, it just doesn't work to make a very long post.  Ha!

Then I thought maybe I would write a list of 100 of something...you know, like kindergartners take 100 buttons to school on their 100th day of kinder....something like that.  But, then I thought that would also make a very long post.  Annnnd considering my living room floor is covered in legos, my Hava-lu is sitting on the couch with the puke-bowl next to her after throwing up at least 10 times this afternoon/evening, the dishes are undone, and there is a new mountain of laundry waiting for my attention (thanks to my too late delivery of the puke-bowl), I really don't have time for a long post.  Actually, I probably don't really have time for a short post, but I'm resting my legs and procrastinating, and I'm the Mommy, so I can.  :)

So....in honor of our 100th post I thought I'd highlight a few of my favorite posts along this journey.  It's always good to look back and remember all that God has done.  Consider this a shortened version of my way-too-long altar post.  :)   


Beginnings.  I love this post because it was the first.  I was heartbroken when I wrote it, but I can see God's smile in it now.  We had lost our baby, our dream. But God knew all along what our true dream was.  I picture Him standing over my shoulder as I cried and typed, waiting on pins and needles to show us what He really had in store for us.  It seems like a lifetime ago!!

"Jonah" the one who started it all.  We will love you forever sweet baby boy 

My Uncle.  I miss my Uncle Gary.  He was gentle, humble, giving, and loving.  I am so thankful God used what seemed to be an impossible situation to bring our hearts together.  Thinking of him makes me smile.

Foster Care Ponderings 1, Foster Care Ponderings 2, Foster Care Ponderings 3. - Writing this series on foster care and our experiences was super therapeutic for me.  Fostering was the best and hardest thing we've ever done.  If you have any interest whatsoever in fostering, please, please read these posts.  Read and ask the Lord how He would have you respond.  He is only asking for willing hearts, not superheros!  Do it! Do it! Do it!  (I get a tad passionate about fostering...)

Introducing...our Son!- This is a fave, for obvious reasons.  Seth changed our lives forever.  He was our unexpected bonus for staying in Salem when all we wanted to do was travel the world- and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

Romaniv.- I have no words.  Amazing day.  Amazing boys.  Even more amazing now that we know we get to back.  :)

The Day We've Been Waiting For.- God moved mountains to make this day happen.  It was absolutely miraculous!!!!!  It just goes to show you that He is able to do more than we could ever ask or imagine.  Man does not have the final say.  God does.  Word.

We Had No Idea.- Seth's story.  I pray as he grows he will understand how much he is loved, how many people prayed for him, and how hard we fought for him.  Love love love my baby.

Carried.- This post is a good reminder to me that God is there even in our darkest hour.  He speaks life and love into our hearts when we need it most.  He is our healer and His promises are true. Thankful.  :)


Thanks to all of you for following our journey and encouraging us along the way.  It's crazy to think about what we initially started this blog for, and what it has become.  His ways are sooooo much higher than our ways.  

I can't wait to see what life will be like when we write post #200!

Christ is Risen: And Now Everything is Upside Down

HE IS RISEN!

As I looked out at the amazing sunrise this morning, I was reflecting on what we are gearing up for this coming year, in light of Easter. This is the day God's Kingdom made a definitive beach head into what we call the ultimate or final experience... death.

In N.T. Wright's Lenten reading today, he highlights the issue with how Christ revealed his risen self.  The gospel accounts have him first appearing to Mary and Mary Magdalene.  He explains that women were considered an unreliable source of information in that culture, at that time.  They were considered weak.  But this was something new and God was turning our systems of thought and best ideas on their ear.

Paul reiterates this point in 1 Corinthians 1:25,   "For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men."

Wright said, "That is part of what Easter is all about.  God is doing a new thing, and, as Jesus said earlier in the story, the first shall be last and the last first.  Easter is a day to put everything upside down and inside out."

This morning I am filled with faith.  I know, again, in my heart and mind that God has called us to serve these beautifully weak and poor disabled orphans.  We get to be a part of His Kingdom-Coming-to-Earth story, His Death-is-Not-Final story, His Wrong-Things-Made-Right story.  (See Matthew 5, blessed are the poor...)

I know that as we serve these precious children, God will continue to move on the hearts of the hopeless;  Hope has come, Love has come and He came for all of us.  Our work of saying "yes" is a tiny sign.  Your work of saying "yes" is a sign too.

As we celebrate the Risen King today, pray for those without hope to hope again, because Love has come for us all.

(He is Risen Indeed)

Jed



Images from The Jesus Storybook Bible, a big family fave.   

A Week Full of Hope!

What a week!  

This week has been so amazing that my face almost hurts from all the smiling.  :)

What a change from my last post, right? 

When I wrote that last post things seemed a little hopeless, the need seemed a little a lot, too big.

But this week has been different.  This week God has reminded us that He is in control and nothing, absolutely nothing is too big for Him.

Want the good news first?  You do?  Well, lucky you, because it's all good news!  YAY!!!

#1 On Thursday we celebrated one year since Seth became our legal son.  What a milestone!  We watched the adoption ceremony video that day and remembered all that God did to keep Seth in our family.  Ours is a crazy roller-coaster-of-a-story that only could have ended the way it did because God intervened.  We remembered how man doesn't have the final word.  God has the final word.  Isn't that good news?  Seth thinks so.  :)

 We celebrated "Adoption Day" by taking the kids to frozen yogurt and giving Seth lots of extra kisses and hugs.  I emailed Seth's case worker who fought tooth and nail for him and thanked her again for all that she did for our family.  We love her and will never ever forget her tenacity and persistence.  It made a difference to this one!

#2 On Friday we found out that Sasha's family is bravely moving forward with their adoption.  Of course our support is with them no matter what, and we told them that.  But I'm not gonna lie.  My heart absolutely jumped for joy (and my body too!) when I found out that they had chosen another one of our Lost Boys to take home as their son.  Sweet Alexei will now be called Benjamin.  Sweet Alexei, who was transferred t to the Lost Boys from the same orphanage as Sasha will now be called treasured son and brother. 

Still mourning the passing of Sasha, yet bravely trusting and stepping forward in faith.  Now that is awesome. Now that is worth celebrating.  Thank you dear family!  We stand behind you in love and prayers. 

#3 Anddddddddd last but not least!!!  

Oh my word.  Today has been amazing.  It started off with Jed and I having the opportunity to share about Ukraine with our church.  The support we felt in that room was amazing.  Our pastor brought it home that this is something our whole church is doing.  This mission is something God has called our Body to participate in all together.  It was like music to my ears.  We have known the support was there, but hearing it today was such a blessing to our hearts. Thank you Lanny!

After church we headed to some friends' house for a thanksgiving dinner.  Yum.  We were eating and enjoying each other, when all of a sudden my phone started to blow up with texts.  I knew something either really good had happened, or something really bad.  Ha!  The first text was from my friend Sarah and it just had one word "HEATH"!  Then the texts began to pour in from other Reece's Rainbow friends far and wide.  

HEATH HAS A FAMILY!!!!!

Our dearly loved Heath is found!  He has a family working right now to rescue him.  Soon he will be an orphan no longer.  

 

We knew it would happen, I mean God did too many miracles in the fundraising for Heath not to be found, but I can't believe it actually happened.  I came home to at least 17 tags on facebook letting me know it is real.  Heath baby, hold on tight because your world's about to be rocked!

You can follow Heath's adoptive family at their blog here.  I've already let his mom know that I'll try very hard not to stalk her.  :)

I'm so filled with faith and hope right now.  Nothing is impossible for our God.  Nothing.  

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21 

If you would like to help Alexei's family with the expenses of their adoption I know they would really appreciate the help.  They are working hard to raise the money and every little bit helps!  You can give your tax-deductible donation here.  Thank you!!!

Encouragement from "Dietz"

All along this journey we have moments where we feel like we are being unwise, foolish or just plain crazy.

Here are a few quotes from Dietrich Bonhoeffer that have brought encouragement:

“We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God.”
(When moving out of our house, selling most of our things and planning to move away from family and dear friends)

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”
(Lord, help us to be wide awake and on the edge of our seats)

“There is meaning in every journey that is unknown to the traveler.”
(We try to search for meaning instead of complaining or just reacting)

“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
(As we pray for the institutions, care takers and orphanage directors)

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”
(As we sit in fear of the unknown, this reminds us to not be silent)

Kim calls him Dietz, I call him brilliant. Many blessings as you say 'yes' to the next thing.