Readying the Troops

 

Preparing to move overseas is quite the task.  It's such a big task that we really have no idea how to tackle it.  Day by day, we just do the next thing that is in front of us- praying that when moving day comes along we'll be as ready as can be.  I'm not necessarily talking about packing and all that (although I have no idea what I'm doing in that area either), more about preparing our hearts and minds for how our lives are going to change. 

When we very first started this process some very wise missionaries told us to do whatever we could to prepare our hearts and lives while we are still here in the US.  "Get your marriage right, work on those selfish areas in your heart, help prepare your kids' hearts".  Basically we were encouraged to do whatever we can do NOW while we are in a familiar situation and we have a great church and tons of friends and family around who love us.  Because although we will still have loads of rough edges to smooth off when we get to Ukraine, it's in our best interest to allow the Lord to do some of the smoothing ahead of time.  Lord knows things will get a lot rougher in some areas once we get there!  Ha! 

Lately I've been thinking more about how to prepare our kids for this major life change.  I want to be intentional about preparations with them, because otherwise I know it simply won't happen.  I know myself.  :)  Like back in February when we first spoke at a church to share the vision, we were on our way to the church and I finally thought to look back at the kids and ask them if they understood what we were doing that day.  Addy understood, but Havalah and Ezra were unsure (Seth was just along for the snacks- as usual).  It was in that moment that I realized that although they are absorbing a lot just by living in the same house and hearing conversations, we must intentionally talk with them all through this process so their little hearts aren't left behind.

Here are some things we have started doing to help our kiddos along this journey.  I'm writing them down partially to keep myself accountable, and partially to encourage other parents to be intentional with your kiddos.  We can't assume our kids will learn what we want them to know about faith and their walk with Jesus by osmosis.  We have to have intentional conversations.  I am sure a work in progress in this area, so I don't claim to be an expert of any kind!  But, you never know who needs to be reminded of that truth.  So here ya go!

Language Study
I started including Addy, Ezra, and Havalah in my language study.  Duh.  That should have been a no-brainer, but I honestly was waiting to find the perfect "kid" language curriculum for them.  Instead I finally realized that I started at square one and they can just join me where I'm at!  Some knowledge of the language is better than none at all.  We study Monday-Friday for maybe 25 minutes or so, and then I let them go play while I do a bit more.  THEY LOVE IT. They are such smarties too!  Addy has an awesome memory and Ezra has a great ear for the language.  It's funny the words that stick out to them.  I'm not sure how helpful it will be to know "cockroach" and "frog" in Russian, but they've got those ones down perfectly!  :)

We use Transparent Russian for our language study.  We bought it many months ago and chose Russian over Ukrainian because the part of the country we ultimately would love to end up in is mostly Russian-speaking, and our tutor we had hired was a native Russian speaker.  Now I wonder if we made the right decision, but ah well.  I think either one is a great start.  The complete program isn't available in Ukrainian anyway, so it is what it is.  :)

Transparent has grammar study, audio helps, and an awesome vocab-building tool called "Byki".  Byki is the only part I use with the kids.  We study our computer flashcards and play little games with the words we've learned.  They are seeing the words, hearing the words, and saying the words.  It seems like the language study has given them more ownership in this process and I love that more than anything. 


Sharing
We've been lining up speaking engagements at different churches and small groups and have been wondering how to involve our kids more in that process.  Yesterday we had a great answer to prayer in that area!  The kids and I were invited to share about Ukraine at chapel for a local Christian school where my mom is a teacher.  It is missions week for the school, so every day they are learning about different countries and the work being done there.  We opened up the week by sharing about Ukraine.  Addy and Ez helped me prepare the lesson and even shared part of it with the kids!  I was so very proud of them!!! 

Ezra and Havalah...ha!

 Addy talked about where Ukraine is located, what kind of foods are popular there, what the homes are like, and showed pictures of the capital and important monuments. 

Ezra talked about language learning, showed a picture of the Cyrillic alphabet and talked about the sound differences and shared some words he's learned.

 Havalah had planned to show her nesting doll, but got nervous...I pretty much knew that would happen!  Ha! I could see how proud they were to share about Ukraine and it made my heart glad.  I think this was a big leap toward them taking ownership of this mission.  We were very thankful for the opportunity to share with other children!

Prayer and Discussion
Ever since we first learned about the need in Ukraine we have included the kids in prayer for the people of Ukraine. 

Our sweetie, Heath.  Still waiting!  Hint hint

And Hanson, where is your Mommy?

And Porter, we love you sweet baby boy.  Praying every day!!

  There have been seasons when we have been more faithful in that than others, but over all it's been a constant in our family prayers.  The kids have certain orphans they pray for super faithfully, and most of those children have been, or are being adopted!  

My sweet Aiden has a family!

Our love Sasha has a family!

SAMUEL!!!!!  Has a family!!

 That has been a great faith-builder for them!  Now I'm seeing we need to start expanding our prayer time with them to include the caregivers, other believers in Ukraine, and the people we're going to meet and grow to love there.  I want to start praying with them that God will provide them with friends they can love and enjoy life with.  Addy and Ez are particularly nervous that they "won't have any friends".  I know it's not God's heart for them- so it's time to start praying and believing that He will provide friends.


Sometimes I get nervous and think "What are we doing? Are we ruining our kids' lives by taking them away from friends and family??"  But then I think back to all the words God has spoken to our family along this process.  This move is something He has called our whole family to- not just Jed and me.  Life in Ukraine is something He is preparing for our whole family.  When our loving Father created Adelina, Ezra, Havalah, and Seth He knew what life He was creating them for.  He knows how this will grow them and make them into the men and women He has designed them to be.  When I was pregnant with Addy a word was spoken that "This baby will be a bridge to people who don't know Jesus".  I am so excited to watch God fulfill that through Addy.  I can't wait to watch each of our kids blossom and come even more alive as we walk into the destiny God has created for every.single.one. of us. 

  

California Dreamin'

We're baaaaaack!

Holy moly we just had the best time ever!  Sunshine + crazy amounts of friend time + yummy food in mass quantities that I didn't have to cook + Happiest Place on Earth = Heaven on earth.  It was seriously amazing.

We started out on Friday afternoon heading down I-5 for way too many hours.  We ended up stopping over in Sacramento (since we're too old to be driving through the night these days.  I don't care how good the book on cd is...it's not keepin' this Mama awake anymore!) in a cheap hotel and caught a few winks of sleep.  Then we were back on the road!  Our kids are such road warriors.  They amaze me with their bladder capacity and road-longevity.  My kids rock.

Saturday afternoon found us at the Delmore's house.  YAY!!!  We spent a couple nights relaxing, chatting, and eating.  It was fabulous.  We love Ryan Delmore's music.  In fact, Ryan and his daughter Kate wrote a song together that inspired the name "Wide Awake".  You can listen to it here.  I love that song and can't go too many days without listening to it.  :)  They are just great people.  Sarah Delmore and I are basically the same person, so of course we got along tremendously well.  Ha!  Kindred spirits indeed.  Thank you Delmores!  We miss you already!

Sweet Kate.  Our girls fell in love!

Monday evening we got to meet with my high school friend James.  It was AWESOME.  James and I were pals back in the day, and now he pastors a church in Pasadena.  A couple months ago James let us know that he'd been following our story and was interested in learning how he could support us on journey.  Oh my word, we were blown away by his faith and encouragement.  James, you have no idea how much we needed to hear the words you spoke to us.  Our faith is built, our hopes are high, and we are encouraged up the wazoo.  Thank you so much for your friendship and support.  I loved seeing you again!

James!

Tuesday we got to meet Mark Fields, the Director of Vineyard Missions.  We go to a Vineyard church and are being sent out as missionaries from our church, so it was really cool to chat with Mark.  We aren't sure how we'll fit into Vineyard Missions as a whole, since it's primarily been all church-planting in the past.  We're excited to see what God has in store!!

Next up....Disneyland!!!!!
What can I say?  I love Disneyland.  I love everything about it.  What made it even better, was that some of our dearest friends ever joined us for our time at Disney.  Disney with friends brings a whole new level of fun to things.  The giggling quota was met each day by about 9:00am.  We shared many laughs, many screams, many waits in line, and many smiles.  It was F-U-N.  With the combo of fast passes and rider swaps, the three big kids got to ride each big ride approximately 9 times.  Holy Pukeville Batman.  They have guts of steel.  Now, prepare for picture overload...
 

After weeks of wanting to "hug Mickey" Seth decided "He's too big!"

BUT, he was definitely willing to hug the Princesses!  :)  He was so proud of his Sleeping Beauty autograph.

 

 

Waiting for the parade

Passed out after a day of Disney

 

Jed working on perfecting his Splash Mountain pose

  

Aaaah...perfect!

Killing time while the big kids went on Space Mountain

My favorite picture of our time  :)   So much happiness!

 Our trip ended with a fantastic time spent with our friend Rick.  He took us out to lunch and loved on us.  It was the perfect ending to the perfect trip.  Thank you Rick!!

Thus ends our amazing gift of a vacation.  We are so thankful.  It was a huge blessing to our family.  

Now back to tackling post-Disney laundry...  :)

Addy's View

I can't believe I'm the parent of a 9-year old.  How did that happen?  In my mind my age has been permanently stuck at 26.  If people ask how old I am, my brain automatically thinks "26".  Weird.  I haven't actually been 26 for 7 years. Although I can't believe Addy's 9, I also can't quite remember living life without being a mom.  It's funny how 9 years of diapers and lack of sleep can wipe out any memories of my former childless life.  

Anyway, my baby, Addy, just turned 9 last week.  We celebrated with a sleepover, cupcakes, spontaneous dance parties, popcorn, pizza, giggles, and not much sleep.  It was perfect.  

Our firstborn is pure joy.  She's our learning curve into parenting.  She's our trial by error.  She's my mini-me, minus the worry about what others think.  I love that about my Addy.  

The past week or so, as I've been recovering from the shock that I have a 9-year old, God's been speaking to me a lot about parenting and intentionality.  I have so many thoughts swirling in my brain about preparing our kids for our move, and being present with our kids in general.  There's a blog post brewing about our kids and parenting...but it will take me a while to get my thoughts in a presentable order. 

In the mean time, here's a glimpse of the world from my Addy's point of view.  Addy got a camera from my parents for her birthday.  She loves it, and I love seeing the pictures she takes.  It's fun to see what catches her eye, what she considers picture-worthy.   

Take a look at Addy's world :)

Self-Portrait

Ezra Pezra

I just LOVE this one...hehe

 

Heading out for a walk...

Race to Mommy!!

Ready, set, go!!!

RUN RUN RUN!!!!

Ezra says he didn't push Seth- I think the evidence says otherwise

Poor Seth  :)

Fancy pants panorama

Yes, Yes, Yes!

Things are happening!  God is moving!

We've had some pretty exciting recent developments concerning our move to Ukraine.  I can't share them yet, because things aren't official, but you better bet I'll share just as soon as I can.

They like to rub it in

This journey of Yes has been quite the wild ride, and it just keeps getting better!  

No matter where you are, no matter what is happening in your life right now, I encourage you to say Yes to Him.  Your journey and your Yes will look different than mine, and that is part of the beauty.  Just do the next thing that He asks of you.  One step at a time, one Yes at a time.  Many steps of Yes will make quite amazing journey.  I'm sure of it, because that's the kind of God we serve.  There will be bumps, but keep on keepin' on.  Just do the next thing.  DO IT!!!   My dear friend Sarah put it so beautifully.  I literally felt like a cheerleader as I read her post..yes, yes, yes!!  The cheers could be heard far and wide.  Please take a moment to read her journey of Yes here.  You will not regret taking that moment. 

To hold you over as you stalk our blog for more info on our move (wah waaaaaaa), enjoy some pictures of life lately along our journey.  Here's to hoping I have great news to share with you soon!!

I'm kind of obsessed with browned butter in cookies.  You should try it.  Right now. 

Look at my new necklace!  Nothing like wearing dreams around your neck.  Love it.

Look what Daddy brought home!  Sugar overload amazingness.

I live in a Lego Factory.

And for your viewing pleasure...Mr. Smarty Pants:

 

Carried

Pardon the stream of consciousness blogging, but the main purpose of this blog is to document the journey, and sometimes I just have to spit out my thoughts as they come so I can look back and remember.  

So, back in September we sold most of our worldly possessions.  Then in October we moved in with Luke.  Then came the Holidays.  Then came emergency surgery for me.  Then came now.  

With the emergency surgery came loss.  We lost our little baby that day.  I wasn't going to blog about it, but it's all part of the journey, and I know someday we'll look back and see God's hand in it, so I guess I feel like it's important to say a little something about it here.  God's grace and His hand have covered us so completely the last couple of weeks as we've grieved the loss of our baby.  We still grieve, and I know that road may be long, but I don't doubt His great love for us.  I don't doubt His plans for our family- every member of our family- even the precious one in heaven.  I don't doubt the the promises He made and I know He will complete the work He started. 

Wonderful friends brought us meals the past week and a half as I recovered from the surgery.  One friend from church shared pizza and some beautiful words of encouragement.  She said that God is going to fill the empty space in our hearts with a dream.  

It's already happening.  I'm dreaming about Ukraine.  My heart is broken anew for the little ones who waste away.  I grieve for their lost childhoods.  I ask Jesus to linger at their bedside and speak tenderly to them as they sleep.  I pray for great change to come in Ukraine- hearts to soften, more believers to rise up, greater faith.  My heart is broken for my baby, but in that brokenness God is reminding me of what else breaks His heart.  He's filling up the empty space with His dreams.    

I know the enemy would have loved to use our great loss to derail us.  No way.  Not happening.  My heart aches for my baby, but my spirit aches for Jesus.  Wherever He is going- that's where I want to be.  In my human mind I don't see how anything good could come from our loss, but in my spirit I know better.  I have to trust that He sees and He knows.  I see how He has perfectly orchestrated His plans to bring us to this place.  He has prepared Jed and I for this since we were children.  Our baby has never been beyond His grasp.  This was not an "oops" in the heavenlies.  

Passion is rising, hope is rising.  The pain is there- sometimes so strong it feels suffocating, but hope still rises.  I refuse to be derailed.  I choose to be changed by this and my heart to be molded by this.  As one friend encouraged, I'm "riding the wave".  I'm not muscling my way through the grief, but riding the wave.  Trying to rest my soul and mind, doing my best to let God minister to me in the way He knows I need it.   

I'm looking forward to the day when I can look back at this and see how He carried us through.  
He truly is good.  He truly is loving.  
He's got our baby, and heaven looks brighter to me because of it.     

My Look Back

2012.  What a year. 

I think I can safely say this has been one of the biggest years of my life.  I think I can also safely say, based on the happenings of 2012, that the biggest years are yet to come.

Our lives changed so dramatically in 2012 that it's hard to put myself in the shoes of "January 2012 Kim".

2012 was a year of God meeting us every step.  He spoke to us in 2011 that He has big plans for us and we just need to "keep walking" and He will make the way.  My heart is full of thankfulness for how our God kept His promises.  He met us, and He continues to meet us. 

On March 21, 2012 we welcomed Seth into our family forever.  The son of our hearts became our legal son.  What a day. I can not imagine our lives without our baby.  He is our joy, talking a mile a minute, loving trains, interested in big boy undies (Lord help us!)...our unexpected gift.  Sometimes I forget that Seth is adopted and when I'm reminded for some reason and stop in that moment to think about it I simply can not believe he didn't grow in my belly.  He was meant for us in every single way.  He fits us like a glove and we fit him.  God met us in the hospital 2 years ago when we first met our baby, and He met us in the courtroom that precious day when He gave us our baby for keeps.  Thank you Jesus for our sweet boy.  Yay 2012!!!

April 2012 brought life changes in extreme measure.  April wins the trophy for my favorite month of 2012.  We spent the month in Ukraine and we will never ever be the same.  God met us there.  He met us in the moment we stepped off the plane and awkwardly made our way to our hostel with the help of random kind strangers.  He met us in the walls of Romaniv orphanage where our eyes met and we realized what we were created for.  He met us in the courtyard of the Lost Boys institution where we locked eyes and hearts with the boys whose lives grabbed our attention those many months before.  He met us in the moments of friendship and laughter with Ukrainian believers He placed in our path.  He gave us friends for life in Kiev, Zhitomir, Odessa, and Kremenchug.  Every step we took along that journey was ordained by Him.  Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and your voice that guides our every step.  

The summer of 2012 brought the beautiful gift of friendship.  New friends invaded our hearts and for that I weep with gratitude and a HUGE smile on my face.  We are loved by many, and for that I can't thank Him enough.  God answered so many prayers with friends this year.  He knows just what we need.  :)

In September we sold off loads of our stuff.  God met us in that moment in a big way.  We had asked God to show us where we would live so we could save up money for Ukraine.  The night before our garage sale He sent our wonderful, generous friend Luke to offer his home to us for free.  We stepped.  He met us.  He is too good.  He is too faithful.  

October 2012 saw us moving in with Luke and securing renters for our house with a 5-year lease (HA!).  Again, He met us.  Again, overflowing faithfulness, overflowing goodness. 

December 2012.  From the inside looking out it's hard to know what to say about this month.  We've experienced great personal loss and sadness this month and some moments the sadness feels almost suffocating.  My heart aches and my soul hurts...but then I look back.  I recount what the Lord has done.  I see how He met us every step along this crazy roller coaster of a year.  Will He not meet us now?  The word He spoke to us at the end of 2011 is still the word for us today: "Keep walking and I will make the way".  This unexpected turn in our path is not an exception to that word.  Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.  Look and see what the Lord has done!!  His promises remain and His goodness remains.  

Now we look forward to 2013.  My mind can't even fathom the plans He has in store for this year.  I'm not even going to try and figure it out. :)  I'm just going to say "yes" to Him every day and see what comes of it.  When my heart wants to bury itself in sadness I lift up my eyes and remember this past year.  I look at my 4 babies and my beautiful husband, and my heart soars with gratitude for my God and His overflowing faithfulness and goodness.  

I trust you Jesus.  Whatever you want to do with us this year- you do it.  We are yours and I mean that.  I mean it with every fiber of my being.  I don't want to live for myself and my good ideas.  I don't want to live the version of my life that seems right and comfy to me.  I want to be spent for You.  I'll let You decide how that should look. 

So here's to 2013!  May we live with our hope in Jesus and may we spend ourselves for Him. 

Christmas!!!

Christmas was absolutely fabulous.  So much love, so much fun, so much family, so much yummy food, so many Legos.  My heart is full.  We are the most blessed people EVER.  

This Christmas was all about thankfulness.
I'm thankful that God knows what He's doing and His plans are better than our best ideas.
I'm so thankful for my so-wonderful-I-totally-don't-deserve-him Jed.  He blesses my socks off every.single.day.
I'm beyond thankful for my 4 blessings asleep in their beds. I'm also thankful they're finally asleep!  My kids are overflowing with joy.  They are pretty easily amused, so Christmas with them is like one big screamfest (in a good way!).
I'm thankful for loving friends God has gifted to us.  Blessed.
I'm very, very thankful for my wonderful family.  Days full of time with family make my heart sing.
I'm thankful for God's never ending, unstoppable love.  When I think I know best and stubbornly run in my own direction, He lovingly guides me back to His path.  His goodness humbles me. 

Thanks God!  Thank you for your Son.  Thank you for your Love.

Merry Christmas (a little late- but better late than never) from our family to yours! 

I'm no photographer, but here's my attempt at a Christmas picture of our kiddos.  Maybe someday I'll be less of a procrastinator and will actually send out a Christmas card...maybe.  :)
Warning: picture overload ahead.  Proceed with caution.

CHEESE!!!!  Woah.  Simmer down on the flash Mommy!

Still a little bright, but better.  Seth kills me.  CUTE!

"YAY!!!!!"

"AUUUUUGGHHHHHHHH!!"

Oops.

"Make a sad face."

"Make a surprised face!"

"Make a silly face."

"Make an 'I love my Mommy' face."

"Make a puke face!"

"Make a grrrrr face."

"Make a fierce face."

I don't remember what this one was about...but look at Ezra!  Hahahaha!!

Make an 'I'm awesome' face!" (that one was Addy's idea)  :)

Touchdown!!!!

Now everyone wanted to cuddle Seth. BLURRY!

Peeking...

Brothers

Cuties

Tickling!

Seth's getting bored...

Cutest kids ever.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!