Tangled Up Knots of Goodness

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you?  Who said anything about safe?  'Course he isn't safe.  But he's good.  He's the King, I tell you."

-The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

We've been reading The Chronicles of Narnia aloud for the past few weeks.  First we read The Magicians Nephew, and we just finished The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe today.  Wow.  So timely.  

This thing is really happening.  How did it get to be almost the end of August? This is really happening- and it's happening soon.  I wish I could put into words the way I feel, the wild knot of emotions that run through my heart and mind all day these days.  

As we're cleaning out our two rooms here in our temporary home in preparation for our final garage sale, I find myself almost unable to wrap my brain around the fact of what needs to go.  This is it.  We aren't storing anything but keepsakes.  There's no back-up-plan storage unit filled with our stuff "just in case".  It all has to go.  All In.  

A Bible study for moms is starting up at church in September, and I'll only be around for a couple of the sessions...then they'll continue to meet and I'll be gone.

Our Home School co-op will continue, plans being made for the year and we won't be there.

At church camp this past weekend I was chatting with a missions friend about the massive intimidation of the Russian language and he said "Don't worry.  Take your time.  Think long-term; you've got years to learn it!"  OMG.  I guess I hadn't thought about it that way!  :)  This isn't a crash course in Russian, this is life.  

I'm so excited for what God has.  I've never felt more alive or more filled with faith than I do right now.  I've never known, like I know now that we are exactly, precisely in the palm of God's hand.  

In some moments I don't worry at all.  In some moments I feel giddy about what this new life will bring, fairly bursting with optimism, peace, hope, and joy in the journey.  In other moments I feel afraid, overwhelmed, and a little like I know we have absolutely no idea what we are getting ourselves into.   

So, you probably get the idea that the knot of emotions and thoughts is pretty impossible to untangle right now.  But that's okay!  It's messy, but it's okay.  All God is asking of us is to say yes to Him, and to trust in His goodness.  

Is this a safe move?  Well, God didn't call us to safety.  He called us to yes.  I have no doubt that safe or not, it will be good.  Very good. 

Tonight, whatever you are facing, whatever 'yes' God is calling you to- trust in His goodness.  All He is asking for is your yes.  It might not feel safe.  It might feel really uncomfortable.  It might feel scary.  You might not be able to predict the outcome.  You might not be able to wrap your brain around the sacrifice, but I guarantee you also can't wrap your brain around the joy.  I know I can't, but I'm already getting amazing glimpses! It is our joy, it is your joy to say yes to Him.  Think about that day when all has been said and done and we stand before our King, our Love, our Friend.  Will it matter if we were safe and comfy?  Or will we take a deep breath after a life completely spent for Him and think "Whew!  Now that was a wild ride!"  

Say Yes.  Give it all.  Step out.  He is good.  He is worth it.  

Saying YES is SO FUN.

We are alive!  We really are!

I have been a bit of a blog slacker lately, it's true.  It's not because I have nothing to say...we all know that would never be the case!  ;) It's just that we've been go, go, going like crazy and I simply haven't had the time to tell you all about it.

Delicious stop along the way

I'm a broken record, but I really can't believe how good God is.  Every time we have a worry He covers it.  A couple weeks ago we were worried about how we would be able to get the word out further than just the people we know right now.  We didn't have speaking engagements lined up, though we'd put the word out to many, many pastors.  We just weren't getting a response.  Oh dear, how we love to just hop in and take matters into our own hands.  All the while God just watches us with a little smirk on His face like "Oh this'll rich.  I can't wait to see what they do."  And all the while He KNOWS exactly what HE wants to do, and if we'll be still enough to give Him the right of way things turn out so much better.  Whew.  Still learning that one...obviously.

Tongue of concentration

We were worried about getting the chance to share and then when we had nothing left to do but sit and wait God had His way.  BAM.  We've been busier than ever sharing the word about Wide Awake and it couldn't be more awesome.

A couple weeks ago we got to share about Wide Awake with a church on the coast.  The people were so welcoming, so warm, almost giddy with excitement to hear what God is doing.  Awesome.

 

Then this past weekend we got the extreme honor to share Wide Awake and our story of "Yes" with the Vineyard youth of the NW at "Anthem", the NW regional youth conference.  Oh man, so stinkin' fun.

We stood in awe as many young men and women said yes to Jesus.  We got to pray over them, encourage them, cheer them on in following Jesus one step at a time.  We cried tears of joy as one girl said yes to Jesus for the very first time.  The Vineyard youth of the NW are AWESOME.  We made many new friends and hopefully we'll see many of them in Ukraine some day sayin' yes to Jesus.  :)

A big bonus of the trip was that several pastors who were there with their youth got to hear about Wide Awake and we've been invited to share at 4 more churches!  Praise God for that big answer to prayer!  The visions and dreams God has given us are too big for our church to support on its own.  Many, many hearts must get behind this thing.  We are thankful for the opportunity to share with whoever will listen!

 

What's up next
-The Wide Awake website should be up and running THIS WEEK!  Be on the lookout!  That webpage will be a great place to direct your friends who need to hear about Wide Awake.  It will also have easy ways to give financial support online.

-This blog will soon be moved to a Wordpress site.  I'll let you know when that happens, but just be forewarned...changes are a'comin!

-We'll be traveling almost every weekend between now and October, sharing Wide Awake at churches, saying goodbye to faraway family, and spending precious time with dear friends.

-This is Jed's last week of full-time work as he transitions out of his job.  His last day of work at his current job is September 12th.  (just typing that gives me goosebumps on my arms and butterflies in my stomach simultaneously)

If things go as planned we'll be making our big move in approximately 14 weeks.  Good gravy.

  

PS: Although we have a lot of speaking dates lined up we are not too busy to share with you and your friends!  We would love to come to your home or your small group to share about Wide Awake.  We have all the time in the world to answer questions and meet with those who want to hear.  Bring it!

The New Digs

We have some pretty fantastic news to share!

We know where we get to live in Zhitomir!!!!!  THIS IS HUGE!!!!

When we were in Zhitomir in May we stayed in a house that we talked about in this post.  Let me jog your memory.  We stayed in a house that is owned by a Ukrainian who lives in Israel. The house was renovated to be used as a small guest-house, or hostel for people who are coming to serve Mission to Ukraine (MTU), like mission teams, and people like us!  The house has 4 bedrooms and is literally like a 4 minute walk away from MTU.  People can rent the house out by the night, or just rent a room.  We loved staying there, and while we were house-hunting my smarty pants Mother-in-Law suggested we ask if we could rent that house for a year while we're living in Zhitomir.  Duh!  Great idea!  So, we asked Ira, the director of MTU if she would talk with the owner about us renting.  Ira, being the wise one that she is, was already a step ahead of us.  She had a feeling we would like the house so she had already contacted the owner.  :)  Well, we found out just a few days ago that the owner said yes!  Thank you Jesus!!! AND, he's renting it to us for well within our budget.  THANK YOU JESUS!  God is so good to us.  

It would have been so super smart of me to take pictures of the house while we were there, you know, in case the owner said yes...but of course I didn't.  We thought it was such a slim chance we would be living there- kind of like a pipe dream, I guess I just didn't think of it.  Lame.  Oh me of little faith, right?  So instead I guess I'll try to describe it to you.

The house isn't it's own free-standing structure, it's kind of connected/a part of a big building that I *think* is other houses.  You walk around the back of the building, along a pathway of 2x4's covering rubble, and our entrance is there in the back.  There's an un-used shed back there...hmmm, not sure if that comes with the house or not.  

Downstairs:
When you walk in it's a pretty nice open space.  To the right is a dining room table and the kitchen.  The kitchen is one counter with sink, a little counter space, stove, and fridge.  What I love is that the kitchen is open to the dining area and entryway!  Most of the other kitchens I saw were a small separate room.  Having the kitchen in an open space will help us tremendously with homeschooling, and with just the fact that we have 4 kids.  :) To the left of the entrance is a bathroom with a tub, shower, and clothes washing machine (ooooooh so teeny tiny! Haha!).  Right next to the bathroom is a bedroom.  The house has no living room, so we'll turn that bedroom into a living room.  And then directly in front of you when you enter the house is the staircase leading upstairs. 

Upstairs:
Upstairs is so great!  You walk up the stairs to an open hallway.  There are 2 bedrooms to the right and then on the left is a bigger bedroom with a shower in it.  Also on the left is a small bathroom with just a toilet.  Straight at the end of the hallway is an enclosed balcony where we will hang our laundry to dry.  We're thinking our kids will all share a room, like they do now, and we'll use that third bedroom upstairs as a guest room (hint hint)/Wide Awake International office space.  

Quirky things of note:
-The kitchen cupboards are made of bright purple metal.  Yesssssssss
-The stairs in the house are hazardous.  We're taking bets now on who's going to be the first Johnson to take a tumble down the ol' stairs.  They're like just a little too short for your feet, so you have to turn your feet sideways to walk down them.  They're also slippery, shiny wood.  This should be interesting...
-There is a drying rack for the dishes in a cupboard right above the sink.  So smart, right? 
-There are no closets in the bedrooms.  There are wardrobe thingies.  Addy is pretty excited about having a wardrobe.  Can you guess what book she's been reading?

Amazing things of note:
-It's a hop, skip, and a jump from MTU.
-It's like a 10-15 minute walk to the city center of Zhitomir where there are fun things to see, nice places to walk, and easy access to bus lines.  
-It's ground level; as in, it's not a flat 9-stories up.  YAY!  
-It's clean.
-It's furnished!  We were anticipating having to buy everything needed for a home when we arrived in Ukraine.  Now we can slowly accumulate the things we'll need for a future place over time.  The kitchen is stocked with the necessities for cooking, there are beds, linens, towels.  All we'll need to buy at the beginning is the fixin's to make the downstairs bedroom into a living room.  Easy peasy.  

What a huge answer to prayer.  This is just another way that God is laying out the path before us.  What a blessing that I can picture where we'll be living.  We can describe it to our kids.  We won't have to take a bus to MTU.  I could go on and on.  We are just so extremely thankful to the Lord.  He is too stinkin' good!!!

Zhitomir Scoop

What exactly will we be doing in Zhitomir?  Why Zhitomir? Have you been wondering? 

Well, if you've been wondering, you aren't the only one.  People have been asking, so I thought we better set the record straight.  :)  

I'm not sure we've done a super good job of explaining what exactly our purpose is for moving to Zhitomir, specifically, and what we plan to do once we're there.  I'm so sorry about that!  I feel like I'm constantly talking about it all with someone, so pretty soon I forget who knows what, and what I've blogged about vs. what I've emailed about vs. what I've texted about vs. what I've chatted about over coffee dates vs. what we've shared at church leadership meetings. Yes, we talk a lot.  :)

So, here is the full Zhitomir scoop, in all of it's glory!

Why are we moving to Zhitomir?

We are moving to Zhitomir because God led us there.  Last April (2012) when Jed and I visited all over Ukraine checking out what different people were doing for disabled orphans we decided to check out Mission to Ukraine (MTU), and MTU is in Zhitomir.  We were totally amazed and touched by the work done at and through MTU.  

So, when we got home and prayed about where we should land when we first move to Ukraine, our hearts kept going back to MTU. They are the only ones we know about in Ukraine who do what they do, and we want to be a part of it.  We have a lot to offer them, professionally, but more than that, they have so much they can teach us.  We asked MTU if we could spend our first year in Ukraine volunteering for them, and after many months of communication they said yes!  So, to Zhitomir we go!

Seth got into my flour bins, so we added some beans and made it a low budget "sensory experience".  Ha!

How long will we be in Zhitomir?

We don't know the answer to that one. We committed one year to MTU, so we know we'll be there for at least a year.  This first year is really going to be such a time of learning.  We don't know what The Lord has for us after the first year.  Maybe He'll keep us around at MTU for longer, maybe doors will open in another place, we just take one step at a time and say yes.  We're really okay with that.  The dreams He's given us for the group homes are still completely alive in our hearts.  We don't know how God will take us from Point A (MTU in Zhitomir) to Point Z (medical group homes), but we don't need to know that yet.  Step by step...breathe in, breathe out.  Whew!  We are blessed this first year to have a "landing place" at MTU where right away we can be actively involved in the type of orphan care we love and have a passion for, but we don't have to come up with something all our own, starting at square one.  We can join what the Father is already doing and bless that.  Super cool.
Note to self: I will know what I need to know, when I need to know it.  Chill out.  

What is Mission to Ukraine?  What do they do?

Awesome, and a lot.   

How's that for an answer?  

Kidding!  You know I can't just leave it at that!  Remember, I like to talk too much.  :)

MTU is a Ukrainian non-profit.  It was started by an American missionary years ago, but now all the daily operations are run by Ukrainians.  They have an American Board of Directors in Indiana that support-raises, resource-gathers, and provides guidance as needed, but MTU is a Ukrainian organization at heart.  We will be the only foreigners working at MTU in Zhitomir.  

MTU has a center in Zhitomir, but they minister all over the city. They have 3 main focuses: Crisis Pregnancy Counseling and Support, support of children with disabilities and their families, and the work at Romaniv Boys Orphanage.  

Our primary interests lie in the work done with the disabled children, and the work at Romaniv.  At the center children are given free physical therapy and speech therapy.  There is a specialist who has started doing some work with autistic children, and MTU is in the process of developing Occupational Therapy, which doesn't exist as a profession in Ukraine at this time.  They have a wonderful pediatrician who is on staff full time and provides free care to children, as well as an ophthalmologist and dentist who volunteer time a couple of days a week when they aren't at their own practices.  All the therapists and other medical professionals are Ukrainian too!  There are various classes held throughout the day for disabled children and adults of all ages.  In their classes they get to learn about Jesus, do crafts and artwork, beading, learn different life skills, and build friendships in a place where they are fully accepted, just as they are.  It is BEAUTIFUL.  Every day several different special needs preschool classes are taught as well.  All I have to say about that is CUTENESS OVERLOAD.  When I got to assist with the preschool class for kiddos with Down Syndrome I thought I was going to freak out due to the extreme cuteness.  It was almost too much to handle.  OMG.  While the kids are in class or therapy, there are Bible studies and support groups for the parents.  Genius.  

You've heard us talk about Romaniv.  Love, love, love that place and those boys.  MTU staff have visited Romaniv once a week for 5 years now.  The transformation has been miraculous.  There is still a lot of work to be done, specifically with the more severely disabled boys. Their lives haven't changed nearly as much as the verbal boys and the ones who are more physically capable.  We really desire to help in that area.  We would love to be able to do what we can to bring about more change and help for the boys in "isolation", as they call it.  Those are the boys we would love to target while working with MTU, so we'll see what God has in store!  

There is so much more that is done at MTU: summer camps for disabled children and their families, summer camps at Romaniv, a social integration project, abstinence education...and on and on....cool, right?

"Look Mommy!  I make Splash Mountain!!  I put my arms up!"

What will we do at MTU?

We'll do whatever they want us to do!  We've said it before on here, and we really mean it.  We want to be a blessing and we don't want to push our own agenda.  Right now it seems that they have a big need for Jed's professional skills.  Jed has a lot of experience in non-profit program management, building new programs, building a volunteer base, teaching caregivers to care for themselves, teaching people in the helps field learn to process what they see and work with...Jed's job here in Salem has basically groomed him for helping at MTU.  We couldn't have planned it better if we tried.  God is so smart!  Jed is nearly bursting with ideas for MTU and already has plenty of work to keep him busy there for quite some time.  

It seems right now that the best use of our family will be having Jed be the primary help at MTU.  Of course I will help too, but Jed will invest the most hours.  My main job this first year will be helping our family acclimate to living in Ukraine.  I will home school the kids- like I do now, learn to grocery shop and run a house in Ukraine, and support Jed.  I will most likely find out what special needs classes they need the most help with and assist every week in at least one class.  I'm excited to have Addy and Ez help me with that!  The woman who supports the moms asked me to help her as well.  Yay!  My biggest love at MTU is Romaniv.  I hope to go to Romaniv every week and do whatever I can to support, help build, and expand the work being done there.  I am SUPER excited for that!!  

Wow, this is getting long.  I better stop now.  :)  I hope this helps fill in some of the info gaps.  If you have any questions at all after reading this, please ask away!  We really want to be clear and lay things out as plain as possible, so if I'm assuming you know or understand some things and you don't, just let me know and we can explain better.  

The aftermath.   You either laugh or cry at the mess.  We definitely decided to laugh. 

I better go to sleep now.  But, just so you know, I typed this post using my healed up blender finger!  Aren't you proud?  Things are lookin' up for the old finger!  Yessssssssss.

*Random pics due to the fact that 
#1 We've already posted all our cool Zhitomir pics and have none left 
#2 Seth is too cute to resist.  How could I deny you the cuteness??

House Hunting in Zhitomir

*If you are a local reader/fan of Wide Awake we would LOVE to see you this Friday night, June 14th at Broadway Coffeehouse, Peru Room #306 at 7:00pm.  We'll be sharing the story and vision of Wide Awake International.  It will be a great time to get the big picture of what God is doing.  All are welcome!  Bring a friend!*  

I've decided to stop apologizing for my lack of posting and complaining about my lame finger.  So there. That's the last you'll hear of those two things...but I just had to get them out there one more time.  I'm turning a new leaf today.  Aren't you glad? 

Housing.

House Hunters International Ukraine went pretty well!   I spent a few hours with Sveta, our realtor, and saw several places for rent. It was productive and necessary.  It gave Sveta a chance to see what we liked and didn't like in a rental, and it gave me a chance to see what Zhitomir has to offer.  One thing I wasn't anticipating was that our kids would be a major factor in us finding a place to live.  When Sveta found out we have 4 kids I thought she was going to have a coronary.  Ha!  It's uncommon for people who live in the city to have as many kids as we do, and many landlords don't want to rent to people wih a whole passel o' kids.  Maybe they think we'll be too noisy.  My kids?  Noisy?  Hehehe....whaaaaaaa.....

Sveta just kept saying (in Russian, or maybe Ukrainian) "Four kids is very difficult!"  Oops.  :)

Who could say no to this cuteness?

We saw some okay flats and a big house for rent.  But then we got a brilliant idea, and all credit goes to my smarty Mother-in-Law. :) You see, while in Zhitomir we were staying in a house that a Ukrainian man renovated into a sort of guest house, or hostel for people who come to visit MTU.  This owner lives in Israel and his mother manages the house.  We really liked the house!  It has 3 rooms upstairs and space for a living room downstairs, a pretty open kitchen/dining area, and it's a house...not 9 stories up!  The best part about that particular house is its location.  It's literally a 4 minute walk from there to MTU.  Best location ever!!!  My oh so smart Mother-in-Law, Cindy, suggested we ask if we could rent that house for our first year.  Normally it is rented out, a room at a time, and charged by night.  But, what if the owner would let us lease it for a year?  What if?  Why not ask?  So, Jed asked Ira, the director of MTU, if she would contact the owner and ask him about us renting it.  Now we just wait for an answer.

We would love it if you would pray with us that God would provide the perfect house for us, and if it's that one that the owner would say yes right away!  Rentals aren't usually agreed upon in advance, so this would be a truly unique and wonderful situation.  It would be so nice to prepare for our move and already have in mind the house we'll be at.  Thank you for praying with us!

So, that's the skinny on housing. :)

On another note, we have been blown away by the generosity of donors in the last couple of days.  Oh, My. Word.  Seriously!  We have gotten big donations from people we don't even know personally!!!  Incredible!!!  Oh the ugly cry, I couldn't hold it back.  Generous supporters, if you are reading this, please know we are so incredibly humbled and blessed.  Thank you doesn't seem adequate.  But, THANK YOU anyway.  THANK YOU!!!!

"Mommy, take a picture of Seth Kitty!"

One step at a time, one foot in front of the other.  God is making the path straight.  Wahooooo!!!!

The Necessary.

We're really alive!  Finger still intact, though angry as can be when required to type, hence the lack of posts.  It turns out pointer fingers are super useful.  I'll definitely appreciate mine more in the future.  

Although I haven't been able to type it out, my brain has been spinning a mile a minute since we landed back on US soil.  The trip was so good.  When people ask the question "How was your trip?" I say "Good, and necessary."  It was oh so necessary, in ways we couldn't have anticipated before going.  I thought it would be necessary in the scheme of houses, visas, and job descriptions, and while all those things were discussed and worked on, they aren't the necessary I'm talking about.  This trip was another leg in the Journey of Learning to Say Yes.  

Kiev was great.  Super fun, great connections, awesome time with old friends- going deeper and getting stronger.  Kiev was comfy, cozy, and superb.  

Zhitomir was good too...and Zhitomir was reality.  Necessary reality.  

We LOVE Mission to Ukraine (MTU).  We love the staff, we love the vision, we love the people being served.  We are more excited than ever to join them in their ministry.  Jed could be busy there 24/7.  His professional skills are so right on for the areas they have need.  My heart was bursting to think of how I get to help and how our kids get to be involved and learn to serve.  We are totally and completely more excited than ever for MTU.  YAY!

Honestly though, I struggled in Zhitomir.  Nothing personal to the city or the people, I was struggling with doubt, fear, worry as we walked the streets of Zhitomir, and it was all personal to me.  

"What are we doing???  This is crazy."

"Our lives are PERFECT right now and we're leaving it all for the unknown.  Why???"

"We're taking our kids away from their cousins, their friends, their church.  They're going to hate us!"

And on, and on, and on.  Being the verbal processor that I am, Jed got quite the earful.  THIS was the necessary of this trip I wasn't expecting.  I had to come around to the fact that although our life right now is the absolute best it's ever been, the biggest reason for that is because we are smack dab in the will of God.  Yes, there will be challenges about moving to Ukraine.  No, it will not be easy. Yes, there are some major sacrifices, but it will be the best because we will be smack dab in the will of our Loving Father.  After I got over myself and the lies, fear, doubt, blah blah blah, I could truly enjoy our time in Zhitomir.  

Look how far The Lord has brought us!  Oh my, the joy in the journey really increases when you die to yourself a bit more. Ha!

Today my kids and their friend Milaey decided to pick various herbs and plants from the yard and set up a stand on the porch to sell to passerby's.  Great idea, except for the fact that we live on an extremely quiet, out of the way street.  People don't just meander down our street for the fun of it. It's almost like a ghost town, except for us. :)  I didn't want to discourage them, so I just warned them it might be a bit hard to get customers, but they were welcome to try!  

They set to work gathering, pricing, making signs.  Soon they were out on the corner yelling to the empty street about their wares.  "We've got carrots, we've got herbs, we've got stuff to make your house smell good!"  They chanted over and over, then cheered like crazy when a random car would drive by every 7 minutes or so.  

After a bit they came in, discouraged at the lack of business.  Then Milaey suggested they pray and ask God to bring them a customer.  I certainly didn't have the faith I should have had (hehe), but was so proud of Milaey for suggesting it!  They prayed, and I kid you not, like 5 minutes later a car stopped at the sale!  A random lady got out and said "I never drive on this street, but I thought I'd try a shortcut today."  Seriously???  The kids were FREAKING OUT.  They hovered, they talked up their goods, and the kindest lady in town walked away with a ziplock baggie full of hedge trimmings.  God is so faithful.  He cares about what's important to us.  

I got to talk with the kids about the goodness of God, they were thankful, elated, and back to sign-holding and chanting.  Guess what?  Not one other car stopped the rest of the day.  Addy and Ezra came inside an hour later crying (sobbing) about their "failure sale".  

"Why did no one come?  It was important to us and no one cared!"

How quickly they forgot the Lord's provision.  How quickly they forgot the joy in the answered prayer, the delight in His care for them.  He provided a miraculous customer right when they asked!

Yep, that was me in Zhitomir.  Totally forgetting what God did earlier.  Totally feeling forgotten, wondering if God cared.  Seriously?????  He's done AMAZING things.  He's gone above and beyond for our family to pave the way and make it straight.  Seriously.  Once I got my head and heart on straight, stopped looking at the "yikes" and looking at all He has done and promises TO DO things got a whoooooooole lot better.  

Lesson learned for me, and the kids.

 

Next post will be more details about our time in Zhitomir.  Many of you have been asking and I'm sooooo sorry for the delay.  I blame it on my immersion blender skills (or lack thereof).

Warm Buses and Warm Hearts...hehehe

It's a well-known fact among my real-life friends and fam that I'm an extra warm-blooded person.  I rarely wear a coat, and Jed constantly bemoans the fact that I'm passing that trait on to our kids.  Who needs a jacket?  They're so bulky!  I'd much rather run from the house to the car to the store and back, than to be suffocated by a bulky jacket.  Don't even get me started on the suffocation factor of scarves.  I get it that they're cute, a little pop of color for an otherwise bland outfit, but am I the only one that can't handle the strangulation?  Just the thought of a turtleneck makes me feel like my airway is about to close.

All that to say, warm weather and lack of airflow is a major downfall to my suitability as a missionary.  If you've ever traveled overseas you know what I mean.  Think warm bus, no windows down, stalled in traffic.  I have to talk myself down from the ledge.  "You actually won't suffocate.  There is air available, just breathe deeply."  

The vent right above my head...doesn't work. 

Where am I going with this?  I have no idea.  I just had to talk it out because as I write this we're on a fairly warm bus headed back to Zhitomir.  I've been sweating for the past 12 days, and so it continues today.  (I'm a Bittner.  We sweat.) Anywayssssss....I just needed you to feel my pain for a sec.  I feel better now.  :)

Now, on to more pleasant topics that don't involve sweat and strangulation.  

This past weekend was loads of fun!  We drove back to Kiev on Friday afternoon with our friend Oleg who happened to be heading that way.  He dropped us at the metro and we headed to the church where they were having a concert to reach the unreached.  We took the metro to the stop we knew was closest to the church and then hopped off.  It's like a 20 minute walk from the metro to the church, and Jed, with his bat-like sense of direction, led us straight there without a hitch.  What a guy.

Jed promptly filled in on the bass and we got to see lots of people we love.  It was a good time.  

After the concert we went home with our friend Sergei.  We had the BEST time staying with Sergei and Alyona.  Seriously.  Being around their kids made us miss our babies something fierce, but we managed.  :)  

Alyona cooked for us and fed us nonstop.  Yum.  Who am I to complain?  Her love language is feeding people, and we're eaters; a match made in heaven.  

On Saturday morning we met Jim and Marianna Peipon (remember Olya and I went with Marianna to visit the baby at the hospital?) at their flat to tag along with them to a picnic.  Fun, fun, fun!  The picnic was for a coalition for children at risk.  Basically, a group of people consisting of Ukrainians, Americans, Russians, and Mexicans, who work with children at risk in various ways around Kiev got together to fellowship and eat together.  They welcomed us with open arms and we had a great time.  It was so fascinating to hear about what others are doing to help kids and how God led them to Ukraine.  We made some new friendships and some good connections.  Who knows what God plans to do with those relationships in the future?  We are open, and excited to find out.  Thank you new friends for making us feel so welcome!  We'll see you again soon with kiddos in tow!

Saturday afternoon and evening we hung out with various friends and laughed a lot.  

Sunday, oh I loved Sunday.  It started out with Alyona feeding us some more delicious food, and ended the same.  Hehe

We headed out to church by taxi after the frantic rusharound of your typical Sunday morning.  It was hilarious to talk (sign/google translate) with Sergei about how Sunday mornings are the same for families all around the world.  "Hurry up!  Eat your breakfast!  Stop hitting your brother please.  Grrrrr."  Then you get to church "Hallelujah...."  Yep.  Sunday morning in Ukraine is just like Sunday morning in Salem.  Why is that?  Hilarious and true.  If your Sunday morning isn't stressful, let me in on your secret. ;) 

After a great time at church we joined our friends in their typical Sunday afternoon hangout.  Everyone takes the marshrutka to our fave: Puzata Hata!  Puzata Hata is a cafeteria-style Ukrainian restaurant.  Delish and cheap with plenty of space for hours of chattin' it up.  As our friend Andrei says "Sunday afternoon is for relationship."

Sunburned...my bad.

After the deliciousness of Puzata Hata we walked for a bit, talking more, till we got to the metro and parted ways.  Sergei and Alyona went to go buy their kids a pet mouse (yep, that's totally not happening at my house) and we went with our friend Elvin to chat more since we won't see him again before we leave Ukraine.  

After that it was home again home again jiggety jig.  Alyona fed us some more, and Jed and Sergei drooled over guitars online- just your typical Sunday night when you live with a musician.  

Anya and I did this:

I give this past weekend two thumbs way up.  We are so blessed to have good friends in Kiev who love us.  The feeling is so mutual.

 

Pass the Tissues...

So last night I laid in bed awake till almost 1:00am with a brain that wouldn't shut off.  What was I thinking about, you ask?

-What will we do tomorrow?

-I have to take advantage of every moment.  What if none of my contact hopes works out for tomorrow?  Will it be a "wasted" day?

-Is Mission to Ukraine (MTU) expecting me to come in tomorrow?  Hmmm...I better check in with them first thing.

-There sure are a lot dogs barking.  Kinda makes me feel like I'm in Kosovo.  :)

-I hope Jed gets to Zhitomir okay on Thursday.  He won't have a phone...how will I know when to meet him at the city center?

-How will I fit all my kids on the tiny marshrutkas they have here in Zhitomir?

-I kind of wish I had ice cream right now. 

-How will my kids make friends here? 

-Will we be lonely? 

-What will we do tomorrow?????  Surely God has a plan, right?

Yeah, my mind was spinning and I was kind of worrying...about everything.  People tell me all the time that they could never do what we are doing, or getting ready to do.  How do we do it?  How are we so brave?  Hahahahaha!  Now you see.  :)  We are nothing special.  Sometimes we look like deer in headlights.  We cry (well, not so much "we", more "me"). We fret.  We keep ourselves awake worrying about things we can't do anything about.  But, in the end we just put one foot in front of the other and praise God He's not afraid to use cracked, imperfect vessels like you and me to be His hands and feet.    

It kind of reminds me of our time fostering.  People would always say they could never foster; that it would be too hard to let the babies go after you start to get attached.  Let me tell ya, it was too hard.  It was impossibly hard.  But, God called us to it and He gave us grace for what He called us to.  It doesn't mean it didn't hurt like crazy.  It doesn't mean we didn't ever cry ourselves to sleep at night because of the heartache.  It just means that when He calls you HE gives you every single thing you need to accomplish His purposes.  And because of that I would do it all over again in a second.  

This is scary.  This is wonderful.  This is exciting.  But trust me; we are not anything special.  Talk to our close friends and family.  Pass the tissues, 'cause we all got issues.  We worry about all the same things you would worry about if you were in our shoes, but we know He will give us every single thing we need to accomplish His purposes.  We just need reminders of that every 5 minutes or so.

That truth is not only for us!  I don't know who all is reading this, but I know that God wants to remind someone about this truth today.  

He is enough.  He will make the way.  He will smooth the path.  His word does what it sets out to accomplish.  He doesn't expect you to be super strong or super brave or even a little bit perfect.  He asks you to be willing, and the rest is up to Him.

Step out!  Act on the dreams God has planted in your heart.  Tell Him you are willing and watch what He does.  Don't let fear hold you back.  Love fully.  Live fully.  Trust.  (I'm preaching to myself today too!)  

Isaiah 55:10-13 rocks my world: 

"For your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares The Lord.

As the heavens are higher than then the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." 

Oh, but it gets better.  Listen to what happens when we trust!  This is the best:

"You will go out in joy and be led out in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands.  

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree (Ha!!!  Yesssss!) and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.  

This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed," 

It is my joy; it is your joy to partner with The Lord in His work.
Trees clapping, hills singing...bring it. 

It was sunny, but consider yourself winked at.  :)

Blind Date on Sunday

Warning, I'm in a bit of a mood.  Not a bad mood, just a quirky mood.  An I'm-not-sure-what-will-come-out-of-my-mouth (or fingers) mood.  You've been warned.  Now feel free to read on.  :)

Today was loads of fun.  I laughed a lot today.  Don't you love days like that?  

Today I got to go to Kiev Vineyard!  I love that place so much.  Jed was super jealous, and you all should be jealous too because it's a wonderful place to be.  Hehe

Last year when we walked into Kiev Vineyard we felt right at home, and I felt that even more this time.  I feel like I can just "be".  I don't have to be "on".  I don't have to be a certain anything.  I am loved just as I am.  I may not understand a lick of the worship or teaching, but I understand the heart, the passion, the love.  Our hearts beat the same as the other hearts in that room and that's enough.  

     

After church my friends Anya and Sasha walked me to the metro because I had a blind date with an American couple.  Anya and Sasha were pretty afraid to leave me to navigate the metro alone.  What? Me, alone in a city of millions of people I can't communicate with, on the metro, alone?  What's to worry about?  Ha!  I wasn't worried at all.  

They wanted to come along, but I promised I would be fine. After I finally promised to call Sasha when I arrived, they let me go.  I felt so loved!  :)

The metro is a people-watcher's heaven.  Seriously.  Old people, babies, people in a rush, people taking their time, people with flowers, people with guitars, Babushkas with big grocery bags.  I just want to squeeze those cute little grandmas!  They're so stinkin' cute!  

Annnnnd I made the trip without a hitch!  Aren't you all proud of me?  

I met Kevin and Debbie Nelson on my blind date and just had the best time.  I can't say enough.  I love them!  The crazy thing is, I got their info from my friend Kim who's been praying for them for a long time now, but she's never met them.  Jed and I thought we shouldn't turn down any possible connection so we emailed the Nelsons and arranged the date.  Then I was talking with a co-worker at the hospital a week before I left for this trip and she told me she has a cousin in Kiev and I should meet her.  Well, the cousin just happens to be the one and only, Debbie Nelson!  Ha!  Destiny's child I tell ya.

Kevin, Debbie, and I went to my fave restaurant, Puzata Hata, so I was instantly happy.  We proceeded to spend the next almost 3 hours chattin it up about life in Ukraine and what brought us all here.  I can't believe I didn't get a picture of the Nelsons because they are just fabulous.  They are real, funny, wise, and faithful.  God first took them to Russia where they served for several years, and now they've been in Ukraine for the past 8 years.  They gave me advice on everything from prayer support, to visas, to apartment choosing, to appliance voltage, to grocery shopping.

(You all know I was thankful for that one in particular!) 

I would totally consider a second date with Kevin and Debbie.  Too bad it can't be tomorrow!  :)

I managed to make it home to Olya's apartment without getting even close to lost, and came home to an apartment filled with friends.  Success.

Tomorrow Olya and I head to Zhitomir to check out the future Johnson landing place and to meet with a realtor.  It should be quite the adventure.  House Hunters International anyone?  

Good night all!  A special good night to my Mom.  Love you Mom!  Happy Mother's Day!  Here's your present! 

(She wants more pictures of me on the blog, just like I can't get enough pics of my babies while I'm gone.  Once a mommy, always a mommy)  :)