We Took the Plunge!

I'm having a bit of a heart attack here. 
I have butterflies in my stomach.
I'm kinda sweaty too.  (not stinky sweaty, just nervous sweaty, let's not take it too far..hehe)

What has me all worked up?

Well, to you it may not seem like a big deal, but it's a kind of big to me.

We created a Facebook page today to document and share what God is doing. (You can find us on FB by following this link and "liking" us)
We're speaking at a church on Saturday.  
We'll be sharing the vision, layin' it all out there.
We got more encouraging news today concerning our news I can't share yet.

Things are really happening!
This is really happening!

Pinch me.  My dreams are coming true.  

The end.

Update/Clarification: We will TOTALLY be keeping up on the blog.  The FB page will be another, convenient way to spread the word about what God is doing.  All exciting/important info will be on the blog for sure.  The blog is here to stay!  :)

Life Snippets

Snippet #1: I really like green smoothies.  I'm not much of a breakfast person.  I drink my coffee first thing when I wake up.  I'm not sure the caffeine does anything for me, seeing as I could drink a vat of coffee at 10:00pm and promptly lay down and fall asleep.  Coffee isn't about caffeine for me, it's about comfort.  I love the warmth, I love the taste, I love the coziness.  

BUT this is not about coffee!  So easily sidetracked...  This is about the smoothie!  Since I don't really care for breakfast I normally drink a big fat smoothie.  It tastes good, it fills my belly, and it's good for me.  BAM.  Here's what I drink every morning (except today because we were out of milk and I knew I was going to my sister-in-law's and she always bakes something irresistible)

a little milk

ice

1 banana

large dollop (yes, I said it) of almond or peanut butter

spoonful of coconut oil

squirt 'o honey

fistfuls of greens (spinach or kale), as much as seems right in the moment

Try it!  You might like it!

photo credit

Speaking of my sister-in-law brings me to Snippet #2: Cousins!  We had a long hangout session with the cousins today and it made my heart sing.  My kids love their cousins.  Missing out on cousin time is one of the things that makes me sad about moving to Ukraine.  Most of the time I feel super excited about moving...but time spent with the ones we love makes me sad about it.  Aw well, we'll enjoy it while we got it!  

Seth and Eliana- He looooves babies!

Addy and Isaiah, just a few months apart.  I had to say "poop" to get a natural smile from them.  :)

Snippet #3: New boots!  I've been wanting brown boots for a stinkin' long time.  If you must know, it rains a lot here.  A LOT.  A girl can't just go around wearing Toms in the pouring rain because those are the only shoes she's got.  I mean, this girl did, and ruined too many Toms Bday presents from the fabulous in-laws.  I needed some boots!  The very bad day, recently, when I ended up in the ER, remember that day?  Earlier that day I was out searching for the perfect boots.  My parents gave me Christmas money to buy some, so I was on a mission.  Well, things got a little crazy that night, so my shoe shopping was delayed.  Last Sunday I got back on the saddle and walked out of the mall with boots!  I'm a happy camper. 

Why this picture won't rotate correctly is beyond me.  Ah well, you get the point. :)

 Snippet #4: Lost teeth!  Ez Pez lost a big 'ol tooth on Saturday night.  I was shocked and might have even gasped when I saw the gaping hole.  How did I not realize that tooth was so ginormous?  Wow.

Snippet #5: I love my Reece's Rainbow group.  We have THE BEST local group of Reece's Rainbow adoptive families and advocates.  On Sunday night we had a party at our church and it was a blast!  I think we had 14 families represented!  Back in July we hosted a BBQ at our house (remember we got all crazy about Heath?)  with this group and many people were in the adoption process.  This time many of those little adopted kiddos were there, running around, being loved on by all of their biggest fans. 

Not only are these people with common hearts and passion, they are people I love to spend time with.  We are so blessed to have them in our lives.  YAY!!!

Phone pic, but beautiful friends, just the same

Yes, Yes, Yes!

Things are happening!  God is moving!

We've had some pretty exciting recent developments concerning our move to Ukraine.  I can't share them yet, because things aren't official, but you better bet I'll share just as soon as I can.

They like to rub it in

This journey of Yes has been quite the wild ride, and it just keeps getting better!  

No matter where you are, no matter what is happening in your life right now, I encourage you to say Yes to Him.  Your journey and your Yes will look different than mine, and that is part of the beauty.  Just do the next thing that He asks of you.  One step at a time, one Yes at a time.  Many steps of Yes will make quite amazing journey.  I'm sure of it, because that's the kind of God we serve.  There will be bumps, but keep on keepin' on.  Just do the next thing.  DO IT!!!   My dear friend Sarah put it so beautifully.  I literally felt like a cheerleader as I read her post..yes, yes, yes!!  The cheers could be heard far and wide.  Please take a moment to read her journey of Yes here.  You will not regret taking that moment. 

To hold you over as you stalk our blog for more info on our move (wah waaaaaaa), enjoy some pictures of life lately along our journey.  Here's to hoping I have great news to share with you soon!!

I'm kind of obsessed with browned butter in cookies.  You should try it.  Right now. 

Look at my new necklace!  Nothing like wearing dreams around your neck.  Love it.

Look what Daddy brought home!  Sugar overload amazingness.

I live in a Lego Factory.

And for your viewing pleasure...Mr. Smarty Pants:

 

Carried

Pardon the stream of consciousness blogging, but the main purpose of this blog is to document the journey, and sometimes I just have to spit out my thoughts as they come so I can look back and remember.  

So, back in September we sold most of our worldly possessions.  Then in October we moved in with Luke.  Then came the Holidays.  Then came emergency surgery for me.  Then came now.  

With the emergency surgery came loss.  We lost our little baby that day.  I wasn't going to blog about it, but it's all part of the journey, and I know someday we'll look back and see God's hand in it, so I guess I feel like it's important to say a little something about it here.  God's grace and His hand have covered us so completely the last couple of weeks as we've grieved the loss of our baby.  We still grieve, and I know that road may be long, but I don't doubt His great love for us.  I don't doubt His plans for our family- every member of our family- even the precious one in heaven.  I don't doubt the the promises He made and I know He will complete the work He started. 

Wonderful friends brought us meals the past week and a half as I recovered from the surgery.  One friend from church shared pizza and some beautiful words of encouragement.  She said that God is going to fill the empty space in our hearts with a dream.  

It's already happening.  I'm dreaming about Ukraine.  My heart is broken anew for the little ones who waste away.  I grieve for their lost childhoods.  I ask Jesus to linger at their bedside and speak tenderly to them as they sleep.  I pray for great change to come in Ukraine- hearts to soften, more believers to rise up, greater faith.  My heart is broken for my baby, but in that brokenness God is reminding me of what else breaks His heart.  He's filling up the empty space with His dreams.    

I know the enemy would have loved to use our great loss to derail us.  No way.  Not happening.  My heart aches for my baby, but my spirit aches for Jesus.  Wherever He is going- that's where I want to be.  In my human mind I don't see how anything good could come from our loss, but in my spirit I know better.  I have to trust that He sees and He knows.  I see how He has perfectly orchestrated His plans to bring us to this place.  He has prepared Jed and I for this since we were children.  Our baby has never been beyond His grasp.  This was not an "oops" in the heavenlies.  

Passion is rising, hope is rising.  The pain is there- sometimes so strong it feels suffocating, but hope still rises.  I refuse to be derailed.  I choose to be changed by this and my heart to be molded by this.  As one friend encouraged, I'm "riding the wave".  I'm not muscling my way through the grief, but riding the wave.  Trying to rest my soul and mind, doing my best to let God minister to me in the way He knows I need it.   

I'm looking forward to the day when I can look back at this and see how He carried us through.  
He truly is good.  He truly is loving.  
He's got our baby, and heaven looks brighter to me because of it.     

My Look Back

2012.  What a year. 

I think I can safely say this has been one of the biggest years of my life.  I think I can also safely say, based on the happenings of 2012, that the biggest years are yet to come.

Our lives changed so dramatically in 2012 that it's hard to put myself in the shoes of "January 2012 Kim".

2012 was a year of God meeting us every step.  He spoke to us in 2011 that He has big plans for us and we just need to "keep walking" and He will make the way.  My heart is full of thankfulness for how our God kept His promises.  He met us, and He continues to meet us. 

On March 21, 2012 we welcomed Seth into our family forever.  The son of our hearts became our legal son.  What a day. I can not imagine our lives without our baby.  He is our joy, talking a mile a minute, loving trains, interested in big boy undies (Lord help us!)...our unexpected gift.  Sometimes I forget that Seth is adopted and when I'm reminded for some reason and stop in that moment to think about it I simply can not believe he didn't grow in my belly.  He was meant for us in every single way.  He fits us like a glove and we fit him.  God met us in the hospital 2 years ago when we first met our baby, and He met us in the courtroom that precious day when He gave us our baby for keeps.  Thank you Jesus for our sweet boy.  Yay 2012!!!

April 2012 brought life changes in extreme measure.  April wins the trophy for my favorite month of 2012.  We spent the month in Ukraine and we will never ever be the same.  God met us there.  He met us in the moment we stepped off the plane and awkwardly made our way to our hostel with the help of random kind strangers.  He met us in the walls of Romaniv orphanage where our eyes met and we realized what we were created for.  He met us in the courtyard of the Lost Boys institution where we locked eyes and hearts with the boys whose lives grabbed our attention those many months before.  He met us in the moments of friendship and laughter with Ukrainian believers He placed in our path.  He gave us friends for life in Kiev, Zhitomir, Odessa, and Kremenchug.  Every step we took along that journey was ordained by Him.  Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and your voice that guides our every step.  

The summer of 2012 brought the beautiful gift of friendship.  New friends invaded our hearts and for that I weep with gratitude and a HUGE smile on my face.  We are loved by many, and for that I can't thank Him enough.  God answered so many prayers with friends this year.  He knows just what we need.  :)

In September we sold off loads of our stuff.  God met us in that moment in a big way.  We had asked God to show us where we would live so we could save up money for Ukraine.  The night before our garage sale He sent our wonderful, generous friend Luke to offer his home to us for free.  We stepped.  He met us.  He is too good.  He is too faithful.  

October 2012 saw us moving in with Luke and securing renters for our house with a 5-year lease (HA!).  Again, He met us.  Again, overflowing faithfulness, overflowing goodness. 

December 2012.  From the inside looking out it's hard to know what to say about this month.  We've experienced great personal loss and sadness this month and some moments the sadness feels almost suffocating.  My heart aches and my soul hurts...but then I look back.  I recount what the Lord has done.  I see how He met us every step along this crazy roller coaster of a year.  Will He not meet us now?  The word He spoke to us at the end of 2011 is still the word for us today: "Keep walking and I will make the way".  This unexpected turn in our path is not an exception to that word.  Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.  Look and see what the Lord has done!!  His promises remain and His goodness remains.  

Now we look forward to 2013.  My mind can't even fathom the plans He has in store for this year.  I'm not even going to try and figure it out. :)  I'm just going to say "yes" to Him every day and see what comes of it.  When my heart wants to bury itself in sadness I lift up my eyes and remember this past year.  I look at my 4 babies and my beautiful husband, and my heart soars with gratitude for my God and His overflowing faithfulness and goodness.  

I trust you Jesus.  Whatever you want to do with us this year- you do it.  We are yours and I mean that.  I mean it with every fiber of my being.  I don't want to live for myself and my good ideas.  I don't want to live the version of my life that seems right and comfy to me.  I want to be spent for You.  I'll let You decide how that should look. 

So here's to 2013!  May we live with our hope in Jesus and may we spend ourselves for Him.